So...one of my favorite bands is Coldplay, and some time ago I was listening to one of their many love songs, called "Green Eyes." Some of the lyrics jumped out at me:
"Honey, you are a rock upon which I stand."
...and...
"'Cause I came here with a load,
And it feels so much lighter since I met you,
And honey, you should know,
That I could never go on without you..."
They bothered me a little. I thought to myself, "would I ever want to say those things to a girl?" Those are the sort of statements I would save for God (except I probably wouldn't call God "Honey"), but not a girl...in ANY sort of relationship. It seems idolatrous. (And it bugged me because I otherwise love that song....hmph.)
Anyway, I soon began to think of the great smorgasbord of love songs in pop culture. I don't want to take the time to go through a bunch of lyrics, but it's not too difficult to find that Coldplay's do not stand alone. So many love songs that have been ingrained into our minds and hearts over decades put forth scenarios like:
-not being able to live without a girl
-being willing to do ANYTHING for a girl
-situations in which a guy's life was horrible or depressed or whatever and then a girl came along and made everything fall in place
-a girl being the one place of refuge, the only source of joy and comfort, etc.
-just plain obsession ("Every Breath You Take" by Sting, anyone?)
...among other things.*
This began to concern me for a few reasons. One is that I know how powerful music is and how easily its messages can mold our mindsets. Another is that, regardless of whether music is a cause of it or not, I have seen this sort of mindset cause great pain, not only in the world, but among my brothers and sisters in Christ.
I have seen that idolatry in a relationship becomes especially evident in a breakup.
I'm not saying that it's wrong to be grieved to "lose" someone, but when that loss completely turns your world upside down, there's a problem. It's obvious that there was a foundation laid in your life other than Jesus Christ. It's what happens when your partner is your "mammon"**...no one can serve two masters (Matt. 6:24). It's a one-way ticket to depression. A broken post-breakup life shows that you were letting your partner be something that only Jesus can be.
The point is this: this sort of mindset will not only make losing loved ones extremely painful, but it can easily help destroy a relationship to begin with (and this doesn't only apply to romantic relationships). If your significant other, who is a flawed human being, is the one in whom you find your strength, you will ultimately be disappointed. We are a sinful bunch of people, and we will always disappoint each other.
But if your strength is in Jesus Christ, Who is not only perfect, but "is the same yesterday, today, and forever" (Heb. 13:8), you "will not be disappointed" (Rom. 10:11).
So, ask yourself...
Where does your ultimate joy come from?
Who is your refuge?
Who could you not live without?
Who is the "rock upon which you stand"?
I submit to you that if it's someone other than Jesus Christ, your relationships will never be completely solid...they will never be all that they can be. Your relationships will be infinitely stronger when you don't need them to survive.
And that's all I have to say about that.
P.S. And think about the songs you're listening to.
"Little children, guard yourselves from idols" (1 John 5:21).
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*I use examples of songs from a guy's point of view just because they seem to be much more common (and because I'm a guy and they strike a nasty chord with me).
**In case you're unfamiliar, mammon is basically another word for wealth, riches, treasure, etc., but it doesn't necessarily only mean money. It can be whatever is trusted in. "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matt. 6:21).